Making changes for a better life
Losing weight, ending a toxic relationship, getting a new job, finally writing that book: for many of us the first days of a new year are a signal to set ourselves some goals for the year ahead.
Spending quiet time with our dreams and a journal is usually the easy bit, however. Far fewer of us reach the end of the year with our goals intact. So how can we increase our chances of staying motivated and really breathing life into our intentions?
Rewrite your goals
The first thing to be aware of is how often we come at goals from a negative mindset rather than a positive one. Take dieting and consider for a moment the internal messages we send ourselves when we talk about fighting the flab, battling with our weight, giving up on goodies.
We are telling ourselves how hard it is going to be before we even start.
The alternative is to reframe our intention in a way that is loving and supportive to ourselves. Sticking with the diet example (since according to countless surveys it’s the number one resolution people make each year) we could choose to affirm that it is easy to make healthy food choices and nourish our bodies with fuel that will energise and heal us. It feels much better than fighting the flab doesn’t it – and you can apply the same technique of turning negative to positive for any goal you set.
Whose goal is it anyway?
Which brings us onto ‘shoulds’. Louise Hay says every time we use the word ‘should,’ we are making ourselves wrong: it’s a kind of mental finger wagging.
So, be honest, how many of your goals or intentions for the new year are based on a belief that you are not good enough? Behind every ‘should’ lies some kind of self-criticism. Yet we know it is easier for us to grow in our lives when we practice self-love, and support for ourselves, and acceptance for ourselves as we make changes – rather than in an atmosphere of criticism.
The moment we start ‘shoulding’ ourselves, the harder we make it to stay motivated.
Are you feeling in-spired?
Now we know what to avoid in setting our intentions, it’s also useful to ask ourselves – honestly – do they inspire us? The word inspiration comes from the idea that when we are truly walking our own path we are in-spirit. Life flows, as Louise so often expressed in some of her favourite affirmations:
I am in the rhythm and flow of ever-changing life
Life supports me in every way
I trust the process of life.
A wonderful way to tune into the energy of YOUR inspiration is to create a vision board – a lovely thing to do with family, friends or in the peace of your own room, at the New Year.
Get a large piece of card and a pile of magazines, glue and scissors, and spread out over the table. Take a couple of hours to browse the magazines cutting out images of the things, people, places and above all feelings you’d like to create in your life. Don’t censor yourself but let your intuition show you the things you respond to, the words, colours, sights, and more that give meaning to your life. Then stick your board somewhere you can enjoy its inspiration throughout the next year – and put energy into those intentions that are truly heartfelt.
You can start a new year anytime
Finally, remind yourself of one of Louise Hay’s most important messages – that the point of power is always in the present moment. New Year may feel a significant time to review old goals and set new ones, but who’s to say your new year can’t start tomorrow or the day after that, or any time you choose to remind yourself that change is only ever a new thought away.
A Happy New Year from all of us – whenever you choose to start it!
Jane Matthews is a Heal Your Life ® teacher and coach
as well as a UK teacher mentor. She is the author of seven books,
including Have the Best Year of Your Life and the forthcoming title Living
Softly. She can be contacted via janematthews.com
